I Silently Broken...

semalem itu.... sungguh....
hasratku ada tanya...apa yang terjadi dengan hatiku ??!!.
--rasaku bangkit, tidurku terjaga, masa-masa itu jauh tertinggal, ada didasar hatiku..aku tanggalkan janji, aku hadirkan mimpi...
Mimpi itu...mimpi yang hanya datang di alam mayaku, mimpi yang sesungguhnyalah tak akan pernah singgah disini...

...
again.. I committed a new SIN, is it love or is it lust?
I know...I lost in between Love and Lust...
I thought that I was die... really...
... I'm dead..
... I'm disappeared..
I'm lost... in the middle of my lust...
my sin... I should have been dead ...
it's beyond my boundary ... my imagination, you took it away in out of the blue, I'm not ready for it, I can't tell you the truth...it's hurting me.. it's hurting you.
-- Yes, I'm a coward..
you can say anything against me, you can shout at me, I deserve it...
but I do believe... somehow.. You will come back to me...

Again.. today I got another "surprise", I don't know what to say, but it's really bothering me..my mind screwed up, when I found out whats going on, what is exactly happening... is it real, Sunshine??
Frankly speaking, I'm still not sure about my prediction.. (yea, I called as a "prediction" as I'm still not sure 100% that my INTUITION is right for this called surprise)... I pray to ALLAH that my intuition is wrong, it shouldn't happen.. it's not supposed to be there.. I'm not ready for it.. I faced some "extra ordinary" things in my life, I was brave enough for those.. but not this time.. please.. not again.. I'm tired.. ALLAH please, listen for my prayer ... I'm not ready for IT...don't take everything away from me...
This Sunday morning, after that "surprise" I got, I have no mood to do anything, even to talk.. I was blaming -you- for something that I'm not sure actually really exist, please forgive me... but, I can't help it.. I'm too afraid to find out the truth.. I can see you... silently broken, because all the things I've said.. really it was hurting you, I know that.. and I keep carry on with it. Is it a sin?
...

where all the trust I got ... where all the faith I keep... where all those disappeared? one shot all gone...

... Ku tak selalu berdiri, terkadang hidup memilukan..
Jalan yang ku lalui untuk sekadar bercerita...
Pegang tanganku ini dan rasakan yang ku derita

Apa yang kuberikan, tak pernah jadi kehidupan
Semua yang kuinginkan, menjauh dari kehidupan
...

Tempatku melihat di balik awan, aku melihat di balik hujan
Tempatku terdiam tempat bertahan, aku terdiam di balik hujan

Pegang tanganku ini...dan rasakan yang ku derita
Genggam tanganku ini...genggam perihnya kehidupan

Biarkan waktu hapus aku...

Hari ini, rasanya gak ada mood untuk ngapa2in.. agak sakit kepala, mood off, layaknya orang yang gak pernah curhat tentang perasaannya bertahun2 gitu.. really.. my head.. screwed up. Udah coba tarik nafas dalam dan panjang, sepertinya ... tanpa hasil.. yang ada.. ingat lagi.. saat itu, ~dia~ anugrah terindah yang pernah kumiliki... aku layaknya seorang unforgivable sinner,.. masih dambakan ~dia~... kenapa? ku gak pernah dapat jawab tanyaku...
aku khilaf, aku pendosa, aku murka...
kenapa ~dia~ muncul dihadapan ku.. disaat hati-ku tiada lagi sempurna?? tidak lagi utuh hati ini,.. ~dia~hadir.. aku benci, aku ingin membunuh rasa itu.. apa bisa? mungkin, ku hanya berandai2...mau coba ~bunuh rasa itu~ tapi apa ku lakukan? aku tanam,aku cinta rasa itu tumbuh.. terus.. berkembang.. berakar.. akhirnya.. aku mati... aku mati dibunuh rasa itu....
apakah waktu akan berpihak padaku??? waktu akan memanah rasa itu, dikubur jauh2.. matikan rasa...jika itu racun.. sebaiknya lah.. di musnahkan.. walau,... ku akan mati juga..bersama-nya...
Time is the best healer... hope.. it's right....

Goats' Milk Is More Beneficial To Health Than Cows' Milk, Study Suggests...

I started drink goat's milk...
uhmm, not that tasty like cow's milk, in fact it has some "light smell" in it.. but according to the "healthy conscious" reason, goat's milk is better ... there is it, an article about it....
------


Researchers have carried out a comparative study on the properties of goats' milk compared to those of cows' milk. They found reason to believe that goats' milk could help prevent diseases such as anemia and bone demineralization. Goats' milk was found to help with the digestive and metabolic utilization of minerals such as iron, calcium, phosphorus and magnesium.

Research carried out at the Department of Physiology of the University of Granada has revealed that goat milk has more beneficial properties to health than cow milk. Among these properties it helps to prevent ferropenic anaemia (iron deficiency) and bone demineralisation (softening of the bones).

This project, conducted by Doctor Javier Díaz Castro and directed by professors Margarita Sánchez Campos, Mª Inmaculada López Aliaga and Mª José Muñoz Alférez, focuses on the comparison between the nutritional properties of goat milk and cow milk, both with normal calcium content and calcium enriched, against the bioavailability of iron, calcium, phosphorus and magnesium. To carry out this study, the metabolic balance technique has been used both in rats with experimentally induced nutritional ferropenic anaemia and in a control group of rats.

In order to know how the nutritive utilisation of these minerals may affect their metabolic distribution and destination, the UGR researcher has determined the concentration of these minerals in the different organs involved in their homeostatic regulation and different haematological parameters in relation to the metabolism of the minerals.

Better results with goat milk

Results obtained in the study reveal that ferropenic anaemia and bone demineralisation caused by this pathology have a better recovery with goat milk. Due to the higher bioavailability of iron, calcium, phosphorus and magnesium, the restoration of altered haematological parameters and the better levels of parathyroid hormone (PTH), a hormone that regulates the calcium balance in the organism was found in the rats that consumed this food.

Javier Díaz Castro points out that the inclusion of goat milk with normal or double calcium content in the diet “favours digestive and metabolic utilisation of iron, calcium and phosphorus and their deposit in target organs - parts of the organism to which these minerals are preferably sent - involved in their homeostatic regulation.”

According to this researcher, all these conclusions reveal that regular consumption of goat milk – a natural food with highly beneficial nutritional characteristics - “has positive effects on mineral metabolism, recovery from ferropenic anaemia and bone mineralisation in rats. In addition, and unlike observations in cow milk, its calcium enrichment does not interfere in the bioavailability of the minerals studied.”

Although there is no doubt that these findings may be a base for further in depth study of the multiple health benefits of goat milk, the UGR researcher warns that “studies in humans are still required in order to confirm the findings obtained in rats and to promote goat milk consumption both in the general population and in the population affected by nutritional ferropenic anaemia and pathologies related to bone demineralisation.” Part of the results of this research has been published in the International Dairy Journal and Journal Dairy Science.

Adapted from materials provided by University of Granada.

--source : ScienceDaily (Jul. 31, 2007)
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/07/070730100229.htm

> Ferropenic anemia: changes produced by blood transfusion on the survival of erythrocytes

> erythrocytes: Cells that carry oxygen to all parts of the body. Also called red blood cells (RBCs).

> Bioavailability : The degree to which or rate at which a drug or other substance is absorbed or becomes available at the site of physiological activity after administration.

> Demineralisation - abnormal loss of mineral salts (especially from bone)

Kisah seorang pemimpi...

Aku suka bermimpi,
tidak hanya hari ini... kemarinpun begitu.
Rasanya tak pernah lupa...
kemarin "dia" datang,
hari inipun hadir lagi...
Aku mencium wangi nafasnya,
begitu pula aroma tubuhnya...
Kenapa begitu sempurna?
apakah "kamu" itu?
... kamu seperti cahaya...
kadang datang dan pergi,
Kamupun datang lagi...
dalam wujud yang sempurna...
seperti rinai hujan, aku damba itu...
rasa kering kerontang itu hilang,
tidak hanya satu dua detik,
tapi selamanya, ini hidup dijantungku,
berbisik di aliran darahku...
...tidak pernah menguap,
rasa itu tumbuh disitu, satu satu bawa aku...
ke alam lain, alam itu... dimana aku di cumbui olehmu,
dosakah itu?
dosakah mimpi berada dan hidup dalam asa dan khilafku?
...kamu tau?
kamu datang dengan cinta, hadir bersama cinta,
tumbuh berkembang tanpa ragu...

..Kamu pemimpi!!! begitu juga aku...
aku khilaf... tapi kupuja rasa itu...
--kamu seorang "pemberontak sempurna" bagiku,
tapi kamu adalah nafasku...
kapan kamu bawa aku ke alam itu?
rasanya bertahun lewat kamu janjikan itu,
aku sadari, kurangkul pula mimpimu, asaku...

...Kamu pemimpi!!! seperti halnya aku...
Kutunggu kamu disitu,
kujemput semua mimpi yang kau tuju...



Pretoria, Januari 15... 12:44pm

Today is My Day...

Well, 5th January... today is my day.. not in South Africa yet, it's actually only 11:30pm... so I need to wait for another 30 minutes...eheheh...
But as I was born in Germany so it means now only 10:32pm.. so I need to wait for longer time!!!! aaah sucks!!! and I'm already half dead now... feeling sleepy.. my eyes are dropping....
should I just go to the dream land, and no need to counting down my time?
ahahh, better to consider about Indonesia time, as my parents are there now.. so means.. it's already 4:37am!!!!!!!
awwwwww morning time!!!!!
better go sleep now.. it's toooooooooooo late.. ahahahah...
see yaa.. nite nite...
--Hope everything I want.. I can make it come true... -inshAllah...--
wish me luck.. ehehehh....

Estúpido?

Amor é uma coisa sem sentido, em outras palavras o amor é um disparate ...
Trata-se de um simples parecer, a verdade é que depende do seu ponto de vista. Algumas pessoas disseram, o amor é cego .. alguma forma, mesmo que você não está cego u quando estão em amor, certamente você será cego (o período de cegueira é depende de quão forte é efectuem você ...).
Falar de amor e senso ... Como é que o amor pode efectuar a vida de alguém tão forte? É só porque a conexão entre coração e cérebro é demasiado forte? Ou se há alguma outra razão para isso? Você nunca ouviu falar sobre "o amor é criado por sorte"? Creio que uma coisa ... sorte vai estar lá, quando escolhemos as opções dadas pelo Deus ... Uma vez u escolher o seu caminho, então você precisa ser responsável com sua escolha ... Que é a vida ...

Seja no amor, ser cego ... (Ser estúpido? Ahahah) ...
Toda a resposta está em suas mãos ....