Terendap Laraku...

Resah Jiwaku menanti... mengingat semua yang terlewati,
saat kau masih ada disisi mendekapku dalam hangatnya cintamu,
Lambat sang waktu berganti, endapkan laraku disini... coba tuk lupakan bayangan dirimu yang selalu saja memaksa tuk merindumu...

Sekian lama aku mencoba menepikan diriku diredupnya hatiku..
letih menahan perih yang kurasakan walau kutau.. ku masih mendambamu...

Lihatlah aku disini melawan getirnya takdirku sendiri,
Tanpamu aku lemah dan tiada berarti...

Mimpi Kamu...

Semalem tu ada mimpi tentang kamu, hayo apa itu? gak rahasia sih, itu only ceritana sih, nonton gitu gak tau dey film apa itu. tapi ku ya, tanya kamu.. coz itu film looks like ga bagus2 amat, ku tanya kamu; "kenapa sih nonton itu film, kan gak bagus" trus kamu jawab aku "its not about the movie, but the main thing u watch the movie with me" gitu .. ah.. emang? kinda sweet answer . eh, tau itu kamu, looks like kinda real itu mimpi-na. emang sih gak ada something2 yng supa dupa special. tapi gpp, itu for me bagus mimpi-na coz aku mau watch d'movies with u.
kapan ya? bisa gak ya? gak tau deh.
kamu lagi otw atau udh sampe? hmm .. ya deh. met bobow . trus kangen aku ya...
duduw...

Being Pessimist is not a sin, but being Restless is Pathetic!

Well... try to connect em with three words; Pessimist, Restless and Pathetic. Somehow for me, those words are important, part of my life, sounds coward, am I? ah, not a coward its more likely "negative". It's okay.. everybody can choose their own way to fill up their life, so do I!! Yea, being pessimist; not only because I'm a big fan of Nietzsche but.. I think my life is not that simple to get a word called "Optimism". I'm still searching for it; even I'm not sure if I could find it. Doesn't matter-- at least I'm trying! better than nothing -- see; even only a little I have that optimist mind!
CLAPPING mode ON :)

... Why should I feel restless? is it because I'm not grateful enough with what I've got now? NO.. don't say that! I'm not that bad. I know that I don't deserve to reach the heaven's door; but its all about mind, feeling... isn't everybody always expecting to get the best thing in their life? again.. so do I!!
I had dreams; No.. I still do :) I'll never get tired of it. I'll find the way to get an answer of my dreams.. one day.. for sure. -- See I'm not restless!!
CLAPPING mode ON :)

Pathetic!!! just like being different, it is unique!
Ah, I'm still in my full consciousness; even its on the edge of the critical condition. Have you ever think about when you are in a critical condition its give you some values in life? something that you can't buy or get anytime; try to be positive in all aspects of life.. not easy.. but at least I'm trying; better than nothing!! Ah.. I just a normal person, like all of you. Trying to get the best thing in life.. everybody does that.. so do I!! all I need to do is; let ALLAH do the rest..and I'll try to do the best thing I can do... finally I realized that, I'm still having a "valid brain" to think clearly.. :D
CLAPPING mode ON :)

Heaven has its way, and I've seen the heaven in Your eyes...

Ya.. I've seen heaven in Your eyes, the sparks.. its reminding me of eternity, endless peaceful mind. I'm drowning inside!..

But my life its not gonna end because of it, I wish I could stop the world and turn back the time,release, erase and rewind.. all the things I had, all the feeling I keep till now. Ah, wish things would be easier, to say.. to do, to capture, to catch .. the answer is Impossible...

Heaven knows, I've seen heaven in Your eyes. My life ended that time, when I realized that I won't be able to swim on it. Just got drowned. My life ended, no answer why I should die that time? why I should stay alive? why I still keep looking at those spark? why I should keep expecting something which is actually never exist? Keep dreaming and Sailing in an endless world,... ah.. I'm getting insane!

I believe in dreams, even it sounds impossible to come true, it wont!! I know..
Either of being pessimist or a dreamer not a sin, but being restless is pathetic!!

Tak Berawal Tak Berakhir ... 8:44pm

Seperti embun hatiku
Selalu merasakan beban ini
Walau selalu terjalin suatu benci
Namun akankah kau mengerti

Seluruh kata kutulis
Dan kuucap dengan sepenuh hati
Dengan nafas yang tak pernah melemah
Penuh harapan kepadamu

Tak tahu dimanakah awalnya
Rasa ini tumbuh dengan tulus
Dan apakah ini akan berakhir
Semuanya di luar kuasaku

Hanya saja selagi ku hidup
Seluruh pikir dan ilham untukmu
Takkan kubagi walaupun setetes
Segenap hidupku untukmu

~~ Cinta, dimana kamu saat ini? sedang apakah dirimu "disana"? kangen aku?
ku mau cerita2 denganmu.. mau curhat2ku.. tapi gak bisa.. aku .. rindukan kamu saat ini... cepat pulang.. temani aku lagi.

Red String Of Fate...

The red string of fate (Traditional Chinese: 紅線; Simplified Chinese: 紅线; Yale: hung4sin3; Pinyin: hóngxiàn), also referred to as the red thread of destiny, red thread of fate (and by other variants) is an East Asian belief originating from Chinese legend. According to this myth, the gods tie an invisible red string around the ankles of men and women who are destined to be soul mates and will one day marry each other. According to Chinese legend, the deity in charge of "the red thread" is believed to be Yuelao (月老), the old lunar matchmaker god who is also in charge of marriages.

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
regardless of time, place, or circumstance.
The thread may stretch or tangle,
but it will never break." - an ancient Chinese belief

The two people connected by the red thread are said to be destined lovers, regardless of time, place or circumstances. It is said that this magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. This myth is similar to the Western concept of soulmates or a twin flame.
The legend has since also become a popular myth in Japanese culture and other East Asian cultures.

I'm thinking about my dream...
long back.. was it has connection with it? anklet.. red string ....soul mate?

Ku menangis,
Mimpi itu datang lagi...
-seseorang- yang jauh disana masih nantikan aku,
I'm getting desperate!! I'm getting restless!!
No hope!!
-- buat "seseorang" disana...
entah dimana... yang nantikan ku selalu; maafkan aku!


I miss you - where are you now??
I miss you - where have you gone??
I miss you - waiting my whole life for you...
I miss you - but I never met you yet!!!

I miss you - I believe in dreams
I miss you - I believe in you
I miss you - wouldn't even recognize
I miss you - but I never met you yet!!!

-KRIBO-

RAMBUT GUE KRIBO!!!!


Tiga minggu lalu itu tgl. 31 May kalo gak salah, kan sempet gue nge- BRAIDS rambut gue, sumpew deh.. itu pas proses belangsung,.. gue sempet tekaing-kaing karena rambut gue dijambakin sama itu 2 ladies di tukang salon itu.. weqeqeqeqeq.. kalo gue bisa sumpah serapah; pasti gue ucapkan, coba deh elu bayangin.. udah bayar. mahal pula.. sekitar 350 ribuan itu bikin rambut gue "ALA BOB MARLEY-- JAMAICAN STYLE" eh ya ditarik2in.. buseeet, no comment deh... gue tapi asli setuju banget sama pendapat orang2.. katanya sih; frankly speaking, saat itu 2 ladies were pulling my hairs, damn!! thats the only thing came in my mind... NO PAIN NO GAIN , gue itu tahan2 dengan rambut BRAIDS gue selama 2 minggu, yang rencana awal mo ditahan selama sebulan, tapi tau lu.. ternyata.. baru dua minggu rambut gue ngadat.. pada patah2, wedewww.. ini bukan goyangan PATAH-PATAH yang kata orang2 sih seksi (seronok? ufffff....) ini.. rambut gue terlihat mengenaskan.. dengan berat hati.. ku lupakan itu semua keinginan pertahanin braids sampe sebulan, luluh lantak lah liat rambut begitu.. (dari awal kan emang udah gue males miara2 rambut kadang2 itu namanya nyisir kok ya, seperti beban bangets deh!!)
-- Anyway!!! sudahlah.. lupakan saja.. itu gue lepas braidsnya,... yang ada itu tanggal 14 June berawal-lah RAMBUT KRIBO GUE lumayan seksi sih.. mirip si SUKETI, kuntilance di film horror jaman kuda MALEM SATU SURO ehehehe... tapiiiii, tau kah kamu? itu rambut hanya bertahan beberapa hari saja, karena.. ternyata, setelah 3 kali keramas.. rambut lurus lempes gue rus rus pes pes.. balik lagi.. weqeqeqeqqe... yaah, again SUDAHLAH... kembali ke asal.. tak mengapa, itu hanya pengalaman.. berpenampilan beda, sekali2 itu perlu... biar jadi instant booster.. sumpewww gue emang butuh itu .. jiwa gue kok ya merana bener akhir2 ini.. NELANGSA!!! hiks5 pengen nangis bombay.. tapi gak bisa.. gak ngerti juga apa yang mo di tangisin.. anyway... by the way... subway. ehehe NO WAY.. apaaa sih.. mood gue lebih baik sekarang, mungkin karena "bawaan" RAMBUT KRIBO.. gapapa, gamama (apa siiihh?!! duh, kok jadi inget bubu?!.. huhuhuu...) anyway.. itu pengalaman per eksperimen rambut, sudah gue jalanin.. gue lagi browsing2 lagi.. kira2 bakal rambut model apa lagikah yang bisa gue tiruuu nih.. aw.. I NEVER LEARN!!! huhuuhuh

Colouring your hair: At home vs at the salon

A fresh colour can be the ultimate pick-me-up, and a way of signalling a new phase in your life. You need to decide if you want to do it yourself at home, or go to a salon to have it professionally done. There are pros and cons for each - here is a guide to colouring at home versus going to a hairdresser.

If your hair is dark and you only want a slight change - say, a hint of auburn - then there is no reason why you can't do it yourself. Home hair colourants are quite sophisticated these days, and you'll achieve good results from either a semi-permanent or a permanent dye. Just make sure you choose a reputable brand, for example L'oreal or Garnier, and follow the instructions to the letter.

If, however, you desire a big change - like going from dark brown to blonde - then you're far better off going to a salon. Going blonde at home is not recommended as any number of things can go wrong, including getting a brassy yellow colour instead of the natural-looking shade you wanted. Hairdressers rarely get it wrong - most have been colouring clients' hair on a daily basis for years - and they'll give you a far greater choice of colours and colouring techniques than what you would get with a home hair colourant.

If your hair is blonde and you desire a change to brunette, then it's also best to go to a salon, as a toner will need to be applied to your hair before colouring, to avoid a green look.

Also, if you want streaks or highlights, then it's also best to get them professionally done. You can buy streaking kits for home use but they can be tricky to use, especially if you don't have a friend on hand to help. You're far better off being in a relaxing environment where it's guaranteed to be done right, even if you do have to pay more.

So unless the change you want to make is minimal, and only a few shades different to your current colour, then it's recommended that you get yourself to a salon. It's more expensive than doing it at home, but for peace of mind and getting the look you desire, it's worth it.

Three Dots (...)

...

I'm trying to forget and be positive with whats happening now, I don't like it, but I can't do anything much; my self destruction keep screaming and pushing me to come out from this confusion.
Is it called dilemma? should I keep carry on like this; with all of my doubt.. and continue my dreams or should I simply ignoring my feeling and think that it never happen?
I think I never learn... for anything; am I stubborn? am I dumb? I just want to get one smile; everlasting one.. am I deserve it?
I'm dreaming about my death... I'm drowning... I think its my wild imagination that bring me to my half death and life... I'm lost in between;
...

Day by day.. my doubt getting higher...
-- something else.. aku gak bisa sepenuhnya tau, apa yang kamu mau... keep talking in riddles .. I can't figure it out!! saat ini, ragu itu makin menguat, not my mistake if I keep carry on like this... sikap-mu bawa aku jauh; to the middle of nowhere....
I don't know till when... endless??

Notice me, take my hand. Why are we strangers when our love is strong?
Why carry on without me?

Every time I try to fly, I fall; without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, ...
And every time I see you in my dreams I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, ...

I make believe that you are here...It's the only way I see clear
What have I done you seem to move on easy. I may have made it rain;
Please forgive me...my weakness caused you pain...


-------------------I need to survive... so stay with me, please?-------------


At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away

Mi Pasión ...

**********************************************
If I remember; far, far away the future shines into forever
Beneath the beautiful blue sky, we were frightened, but only a little,
In nostalgic colors, a window is stained...
To turn behind, can we meet again the future continues into forever?
Beneath this huge billboard, I want to see the fading of this time
To those never met again, somewhere???!!! open a window..


Si mal no recuerdo - lejos, muy lejos del futuro brilla para siempre en
Bajo el hermoso cielo azul, que estaban durmiendo, eternamente ...

;
Hari ini tanggal 5 June, saat 11:21pm.. dentangnya jam dinding itu jelas ku dengar, kadang datang.. kadang pergi.. seperti detak jantungku,.. ahh.. ku masih hidup disini.. bernafas pasti, and yea.. still waiting for a miracle to come... damn, stupid me.. !!! apa ini, kegilaan apa yang kunantikan? "Do not mistake coincidence for fate"... I'm trying to believe it.. but HELL.. "bullshit" macam apa itu??, Mi Pasión? do I have one? or I have too many.. jiwaku sakit.. bukan.. tidak hanya itu... sakit jiwaku..

--- My Reality... all good things come to an end?

Honestly what will become of me don't like reality
It's way too clear to me but really life is dandy
We are what we don't see missed everything daydreaming
Flames to dust ....lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end???
Traveling; I only stop at exits wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies the pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why.....
Well the dogs were barking at a new moon whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon and the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away and the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation...
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die....



**** My suicidal dream... I think you gonna take me away with you one day... to unreachable place... beyond the reality ???.....

I Silently Broken...

semalem itu.... sungguh....
hasratku ada tanya...apa yang terjadi dengan hatiku ??!!.
--rasaku bangkit, tidurku terjaga, masa-masa itu jauh tertinggal, ada didasar hatiku..aku tanggalkan janji, aku hadirkan mimpi...
Mimpi itu...mimpi yang hanya datang di alam mayaku, mimpi yang sesungguhnyalah tak akan pernah singgah disini...

...
again.. I committed a new SIN, is it love or is it lust?
I know...I lost in between Love and Lust...
I thought that I was die... really...
... I'm dead..
... I'm disappeared..
I'm lost... in the middle of my lust...
my sin... I should have been dead ...
it's beyond my boundary ... my imagination, you took it away in out of the blue, I'm not ready for it, I can't tell you the truth...it's hurting me.. it's hurting you.
-- Yes, I'm a coward..
you can say anything against me, you can shout at me, I deserve it...
but I do believe... somehow.. You will come back to me...

Again.. today I got another "surprise", I don't know what to say, but it's really bothering me..my mind screwed up, when I found out whats going on, what is exactly happening... is it real, Sunshine??
Frankly speaking, I'm still not sure about my prediction.. (yea, I called as a "prediction" as I'm still not sure 100% that my INTUITION is right for this called surprise)... I pray to ALLAH that my intuition is wrong, it shouldn't happen.. it's not supposed to be there.. I'm not ready for it.. I faced some "extra ordinary" things in my life, I was brave enough for those.. but not this time.. please.. not again.. I'm tired.. ALLAH please, listen for my prayer ... I'm not ready for IT...don't take everything away from me...
This Sunday morning, after that "surprise" I got, I have no mood to do anything, even to talk.. I was blaming -you- for something that I'm not sure actually really exist, please forgive me... but, I can't help it.. I'm too afraid to find out the truth.. I can see you... silently broken, because all the things I've said.. really it was hurting you, I know that.. and I keep carry on with it. Is it a sin?
...

where all the trust I got ... where all the faith I keep... where all those disappeared? one shot all gone...

... Ku tak selalu berdiri, terkadang hidup memilukan..
Jalan yang ku lalui untuk sekadar bercerita...
Pegang tanganku ini dan rasakan yang ku derita

Apa yang kuberikan, tak pernah jadi kehidupan
Semua yang kuinginkan, menjauh dari kehidupan
...

Tempatku melihat di balik awan, aku melihat di balik hujan
Tempatku terdiam tempat bertahan, aku terdiam di balik hujan

Pegang tanganku ini...dan rasakan yang ku derita
Genggam tanganku ini...genggam perihnya kehidupan

Biarkan waktu hapus aku...

Hari ini, rasanya gak ada mood untuk ngapa2in.. agak sakit kepala, mood off, layaknya orang yang gak pernah curhat tentang perasaannya bertahun2 gitu.. really.. my head.. screwed up. Udah coba tarik nafas dalam dan panjang, sepertinya ... tanpa hasil.. yang ada.. ingat lagi.. saat itu, ~dia~ anugrah terindah yang pernah kumiliki... aku layaknya seorang unforgivable sinner,.. masih dambakan ~dia~... kenapa? ku gak pernah dapat jawab tanyaku...
aku khilaf, aku pendosa, aku murka...
kenapa ~dia~ muncul dihadapan ku.. disaat hati-ku tiada lagi sempurna?? tidak lagi utuh hati ini,.. ~dia~hadir.. aku benci, aku ingin membunuh rasa itu.. apa bisa? mungkin, ku hanya berandai2...mau coba ~bunuh rasa itu~ tapi apa ku lakukan? aku tanam,aku cinta rasa itu tumbuh.. terus.. berkembang.. berakar.. akhirnya.. aku mati... aku mati dibunuh rasa itu....
apakah waktu akan berpihak padaku??? waktu akan memanah rasa itu, dikubur jauh2.. matikan rasa...jika itu racun.. sebaiknya lah.. di musnahkan.. walau,... ku akan mati juga..bersama-nya...
Time is the best healer... hope.. it's right....

Goats' Milk Is More Beneficial To Health Than Cows' Milk, Study Suggests...

I started drink goat's milk...
uhmm, not that tasty like cow's milk, in fact it has some "light smell" in it.. but according to the "healthy conscious" reason, goat's milk is better ... there is it, an article about it....
------


Researchers have carried out a comparative study on the properties of goats' milk compared to those of cows' milk. They found reason to believe that goats' milk could help prevent diseases such as anemia and bone demineralization. Goats' milk was found to help with the digestive and metabolic utilization of minerals such as iron, calcium, phosphorus and magnesium.

Research carried out at the Department of Physiology of the University of Granada has revealed that goat milk has more beneficial properties to health than cow milk. Among these properties it helps to prevent ferropenic anaemia (iron deficiency) and bone demineralisation (softening of the bones).

This project, conducted by Doctor Javier Díaz Castro and directed by professors Margarita Sánchez Campos, Mª Inmaculada López Aliaga and Mª José Muñoz Alférez, focuses on the comparison between the nutritional properties of goat milk and cow milk, both with normal calcium content and calcium enriched, against the bioavailability of iron, calcium, phosphorus and magnesium. To carry out this study, the metabolic balance technique has been used both in rats with experimentally induced nutritional ferropenic anaemia and in a control group of rats.

In order to know how the nutritive utilisation of these minerals may affect their metabolic distribution and destination, the UGR researcher has determined the concentration of these minerals in the different organs involved in their homeostatic regulation and different haematological parameters in relation to the metabolism of the minerals.

Better results with goat milk

Results obtained in the study reveal that ferropenic anaemia and bone demineralisation caused by this pathology have a better recovery with goat milk. Due to the higher bioavailability of iron, calcium, phosphorus and magnesium, the restoration of altered haematological parameters and the better levels of parathyroid hormone (PTH), a hormone that regulates the calcium balance in the organism was found in the rats that consumed this food.

Javier Díaz Castro points out that the inclusion of goat milk with normal or double calcium content in the diet “favours digestive and metabolic utilisation of iron, calcium and phosphorus and their deposit in target organs - parts of the organism to which these minerals are preferably sent - involved in their homeostatic regulation.”

According to this researcher, all these conclusions reveal that regular consumption of goat milk – a natural food with highly beneficial nutritional characteristics - “has positive effects on mineral metabolism, recovery from ferropenic anaemia and bone mineralisation in rats. In addition, and unlike observations in cow milk, its calcium enrichment does not interfere in the bioavailability of the minerals studied.”

Although there is no doubt that these findings may be a base for further in depth study of the multiple health benefits of goat milk, the UGR researcher warns that “studies in humans are still required in order to confirm the findings obtained in rats and to promote goat milk consumption both in the general population and in the population affected by nutritional ferropenic anaemia and pathologies related to bone demineralisation.” Part of the results of this research has been published in the International Dairy Journal and Journal Dairy Science.

Adapted from materials provided by University of Granada.

--source : ScienceDaily (Jul. 31, 2007)
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/07/070730100229.htm

> Ferropenic anemia: changes produced by blood transfusion on the survival of erythrocytes

> erythrocytes: Cells that carry oxygen to all parts of the body. Also called red blood cells (RBCs).

> Bioavailability : The degree to which or rate at which a drug or other substance is absorbed or becomes available at the site of physiological activity after administration.

> Demineralisation - abnormal loss of mineral salts (especially from bone)

Kisah seorang pemimpi...

Aku suka bermimpi,
tidak hanya hari ini... kemarinpun begitu.
Rasanya tak pernah lupa...
kemarin "dia" datang,
hari inipun hadir lagi...
Aku mencium wangi nafasnya,
begitu pula aroma tubuhnya...
Kenapa begitu sempurna?
apakah "kamu" itu?
... kamu seperti cahaya...
kadang datang dan pergi,
Kamupun datang lagi...
dalam wujud yang sempurna...
seperti rinai hujan, aku damba itu...
rasa kering kerontang itu hilang,
tidak hanya satu dua detik,
tapi selamanya, ini hidup dijantungku,
berbisik di aliran darahku...
...tidak pernah menguap,
rasa itu tumbuh disitu, satu satu bawa aku...
ke alam lain, alam itu... dimana aku di cumbui olehmu,
dosakah itu?
dosakah mimpi berada dan hidup dalam asa dan khilafku?
...kamu tau?
kamu datang dengan cinta, hadir bersama cinta,
tumbuh berkembang tanpa ragu...

..Kamu pemimpi!!! begitu juga aku...
aku khilaf... tapi kupuja rasa itu...
--kamu seorang "pemberontak sempurna" bagiku,
tapi kamu adalah nafasku...
kapan kamu bawa aku ke alam itu?
rasanya bertahun lewat kamu janjikan itu,
aku sadari, kurangkul pula mimpimu, asaku...

...Kamu pemimpi!!! seperti halnya aku...
Kutunggu kamu disitu,
kujemput semua mimpi yang kau tuju...



Pretoria, Januari 15... 12:44pm

Today is My Day...

Well, 5th January... today is my day.. not in South Africa yet, it's actually only 11:30pm... so I need to wait for another 30 minutes...eheheh...
But as I was born in Germany so it means now only 10:32pm.. so I need to wait for longer time!!!! aaah sucks!!! and I'm already half dead now... feeling sleepy.. my eyes are dropping....
should I just go to the dream land, and no need to counting down my time?
ahahh, better to consider about Indonesia time, as my parents are there now.. so means.. it's already 4:37am!!!!!!!
awwwwww morning time!!!!!
better go sleep now.. it's toooooooooooo late.. ahahahah...
see yaa.. nite nite...
--Hope everything I want.. I can make it come true... -inshAllah...--
wish me luck.. ehehehh....

Estúpido?

Amor é uma coisa sem sentido, em outras palavras o amor é um disparate ...
Trata-se de um simples parecer, a verdade é que depende do seu ponto de vista. Algumas pessoas disseram, o amor é cego .. alguma forma, mesmo que você não está cego u quando estão em amor, certamente você será cego (o período de cegueira é depende de quão forte é efectuem você ...).
Falar de amor e senso ... Como é que o amor pode efectuar a vida de alguém tão forte? É só porque a conexão entre coração e cérebro é demasiado forte? Ou se há alguma outra razão para isso? Você nunca ouviu falar sobre "o amor é criado por sorte"? Creio que uma coisa ... sorte vai estar lá, quando escolhemos as opções dadas pelo Deus ... Uma vez u escolher o seu caminho, então você precisa ser responsável com sua escolha ... Que é a vida ...

Seja no amor, ser cego ... (Ser estúpido? Ahahah) ...
Toda a resposta está em suas mãos ....